Jim was the bully of the school, also hair color is black, and eye is brown. Everyone laugh at him because he big and fat. He was name 'the Whale', and he get mad easily mad. The only person who cares about him is Joey. Joey has black hair and green eye, also a kind person. But then one day, he saw Joey laughing with three guys, I'm think that they are laughing about him and he trusted Joey. Jim decides to put everyone in garbage can and then toss them to the lake. Joey came and tries to stop him.
Joey "Jim, this is not the way to stop your problem."
Jim "Yes it is, since you also laugh at me and ruined my trust. If they think it was funny, let see how funny it will be when they are in the bottom of the lake."
Joey "Jim, I wasn't making joke about you heard that my teacher had fell into the girl room, that what I was laughing at."
Jim "LIER!" Then Jim tosses Joey and run to the forest. It was getting dark; Jim was tired of running, but was also tired of being betrayed by the one he trust. If only he was not fat and was like everyone one. Then a howl came from behind and Jim was getting scare. Then his feet wouldn't move and a dog came out.
Jim "Oh, it just a dog. Hey little guy, what are you doing here." As he got close to the dog, the dog eye was red and it bites him. "Ouch, what was that for." Then the dog was gone, and Jim was in pain.
He tries to relax, but then a yellow moon appears. His stomach was sinking and Jim began feeling the pleasure coming from it. As the fat began to slim down, his body shrank, his leg became slender and long, and his butt became soft. Then his manhood was gone and his head grow a little, his hairs grow till it reaches his hair and turn white. Then his ears were dog ear and he grows a tail. Then his eye was pink, and his face changes into a girl. Then his fat arm slime down till there are small and thick, and his hand shrank. Then his pant fall off, revealing his hairless legs and his shirt became small, with a bow on top and the color was pink. As the fat was gone from his stomach, he moans soft and breath hard as the remaining fat went to his chest and became B cups. As she opens her eye, she saw that her body was small and cute. But this isn't what she wanted, she wants to lose weight, not become a dog girl. Then she hears angry student and she didn't want to be seeing. She climbs a top of the tree and sees the student walking pass her.
Random student "That bully. I just want to pop the big belly of him and see if there is food in it." Jim began to feel sad and hurt from their words. It made her feel sick and alone; but then anger over came her mind and then she felt like
to give them pain. She jumps off the tree and appear in front of the crowd.
Female student "What the hell
who are you!? Where did you come from and what with those clothing?" The young wolf girl didn't saying anything, only starring at them with her cold, eerie eyes, which made only a few of them creep out. One of the students came out and confronts the wolf girl while showing no fear in front of the wolf girl.
Male student "Now see here, you can't just come out of nowhere and give us with your
" But before he could finish, the wolf girl grab his left arm and in that instant broke it, which he then scream in both fear and in pain (it can still be used and it will heal in about a month or 2, so he is still okay a bit). The student scream in terror as how one girl could break someone arm in that instant; then the wolf girl turn her gaze at them while showing her fangs, then she let a big howl, which cause all the students to panic and then finally left the forest.
Jim " Ha ha, yes, run in fear you cowards! I could everything I always wanted to do and no one can stop me. And speaking of someone, I think it time to pay one more visit to someone before I decided to leave this pathetic city." She began to jump back at the tree and then jumping from one tree to another, beginning her search of that special someone.
It's significantly better than the old version, but it still has plenty of errors. In particular, correct verb conjugation would greatly improve the readability of your stories. What's your native language?