Jim was the bully of the school,also hair color is black,and eye is brown. Everyone laugh at him because he big and fat. He was name 'the Whale',and he get mad easily mad. The only person who care about him is Joey. Joey has black hair and green eye,also a kind person. But then one day,he saw Joey laughing with three guys,im think that they are laughing about him and he trusted Joey. Jim decide to put everyone in garbage can and then toss them to the lake. Joey came and try to stop him. "Jim,this is not the way to stop your problem." "Yes it is,since you also laugh at me and ruined my trust. If they think it was funny,let see how funny it will be when they are in the bottom of the lake." "Jim,i wasn't making joe about you,i heard that my teacher had fell into the girl room,that what i was laughing at." "LIER!" Then Jim toss Joey and run to the forest. It was getting dark,Jim was tired of running,but was also tired of being betry by the one he trust. If only he was not fat and was like everyone one. Then a howl came from behind and Jim was getting scare. Then his feet wouldn't move and a dog came out. "Oh,it just a dog. Hey little guy,what are you doing here." As he got close to the dog,the dog eye were red and it bite him. "Ouch,what was that for." Then the dog was gone,and Jim was in pain. He try to relex,but then a yellow moon appear. His stomach was sinking and Jim began feeling the pleasure coming from it. As the fat began to slime down,his body shrank,his leg became slender and long,and his butt became soft. Then his mahood was gone and his head grow a little,his hair grow till it reach his hair and turn white. Then his ears were dog ear and he grow a tail. Then his eye were pink,and his face change into a girl. Then his fat arm slime down till there are small and thick,and his hand shrank. Then his pant fall off,revealing his hairless legs,and his shirt became small,with a bow on top and the color was pink. As the fat was gone from his stomach,he moan soft and breath hard as the remaining fat went to his chest and became A cups. As she open her eye, she saw that her body was small and cute. But this isn't what she wanted,she want to loss weight,not become a dog girl. Then she hear angry student and she didn't wanted to be see. She climb a top of the tree and see the student walking pass her. "That bully,i want to pop the big belly of him and see if there is food in it." Jim began to feel sad and hurt from their words. As she see the last student coming this way,she began to fell off from the tree and the student run to save her. Jim end up on him and then look at the student face,it was Joey. Joey got up and grab her before she leave. "Hey,why were you up that tree,umm...miss. Are those dog ears and tail?" "Yes. And it me,Jim." Joey was shock that his big and,well,fat friend was a young,cut girl with dog ear and tail. Joey was crying,thinking now he want pay back,and take her back to meet the student. Then they will laugh at her and try to hurt her. She felt so scare and alone,and she didn't want that. But Joey hug her,trying to help her. "Jim,don't be sad. It make me want to cry. You know that we are friend and i am here to help you,no matter who you are." Jim felt his heart had skip a beat and Jim was flush from seeing Joey. Then Jim came close to Joey face and kiss him on the yellow moon. For a month,Alice(Jim) was happy,making friends,having no one making fun of her,and to have somone who love her,Joey. While she miss her old self,she wonder who was that dog and where did it go? Then in the top of the roof,the dog with red eye was up there with a person with a helmet.
Hope you enjoy this love story. And yes,that person in the helmet was Darth Drago. Thought i put him in a love story.
Need to have some space added between paragraphs, along with some re-reading.
Not bad, I would suggest that you review the story a few times, mainly to reduce errors. You may also want to have a second person read the story to also reduce those errors...... Please space it out more, it will make the story flow better and distinguish who is speaking. But over all, very good, very good indeed
I'd like it more if it were spaced out a tad.
very badly written but an ok story
Not bad. Nice ending to it!